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I GIVE UP
I give up!
Im fed up!
Everyday you tease me.
Why cant you let me be?!?
Im tired of trying to understand.
Why cant you see youre grand?
The sky is falling,
And Im sleeping.
I wish I could sleep my life away,
Then I would feel no pain Oh by the way,
I LOVE YOU!!
I give up!
Im fed up!
The rainbows are no more.
The sparrow is gone forever more.
There is a void inside,
Only filled with you at my side.
I dont know where to go,
And it looks like snow.
I wish I could sleep my life away,
Then I would feel no pain Oh by the way,
I LOVE YOU!!!
An original by:
~Amber Krystal Hall~
YOUR SPARROW
Many a year went by, filled with sorrow,
Till the day you sent your sparrow,
Filled with desire to unite,
Us with harmony this night.
My gloom filled days are now behind,
I knew someday I would find,
Someone to bring light into my life,
And take away all my strife.
So I thank you for the day,
You sent your bird my way.
Bless the days upon us now,
I knew youd work it out somehow.
Many a year went by, filled with sorrow,
Till the day you sent your sparrow.
An original poem by:
Amber Krystal Hall
SWEET 16
Sweet 16 is a day that many say is a day for happiness, but why? I have few special privileges. I still cant drive, but I can work late hours.
Sweet 16 is supposed to be a year of fun and joy, all I feel is emptiness and loneliness.
Sweet 16 is only a sign of another year of loneliness.
Sweet 16 is finally here, I have waited so long and now its here, and what have I got to show? Nothing, I am still lonely as ever if not more. I hate the way I live my life, I run from people and my feelings.
Sweet 16 is here and yet still I run. What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I feel so sorry for myself?
Sweet 16 is only a time of sorrow for me. I once again realize how few friends I have. I hate the way I live my life.
My Sweet 16 is not a happy time. I envy others whose sweet 16 is sweet for
My Sweet 16 is not sweet at all.
Sweet 16
An original by:
~Amber Krystal Hall~
ISN'T IT ODD?
Isn't it odd how when the wind blows hard and barely a leaf moves,
How when a squirl laughs like a hyeena yet is still considered a beautiful sound,
Or how the air is so beautiful and clean in the country?
Isn't it odd?
An Original by:
~Amber Krystal Hall~
Unattainable Goal
Running, running,
Over the hill.
It's so close.
I can see the finish line!
Running, running,
Almost there,
I can make it.
Ooh so close,
I can almost reach it.
Just a few more steps.
Wait, where did it go?!?
The finish line disappeared.
I spin in circles, not a sign of it anywhere.
I can't even tell it existed.
After all that running and it vanished.
I must turn back now, go home, and start over,
But wait, which way?!? Everything looks the same.
Running, running,
No place to go,
Nothing to strive for.
The finish line vanished with out a trace.
Running, running,
Why? There is nothing left to run for,
Wait, what's that in the distance?!?
The faint white ribbon of another finish line.
Running, running,
Will I make it this time?
Lets go! Lets go! I can do it!
I'll make it this time before it vanishes.
Running, running..
An original poem by:
Amber Krystal Hall
Lost and lonely
I'm lost and lonely.
I dont know where I'm going .
And I dont know what I'm running from.
It feels like I dropped an explosive bomb,
It had such a nuclear explosion that
No one is left to say it wasn't my fault,
Or that everything will be all right
No one is left, did I really kill them all?
Im lost and lonely
I dont know where I'm going
And I dont know what I'm running from
The electricity is out, the lights are gone and I can't see.
What have I done to deserve this?
Why does everyone hate me?
I'm lost and lonely,
I dont know where I'm going
And I dont know what I'm running from
Everywhere I go there is no one to be seen
I can hear their voices, but when I turn the corner no one is there.
What have I done?
Have I really killed them all?
Im lost and lonely
I dont know where I'm going
And I dont what I'm running from
Where am I going?
What am I running from?
Where am I going?
What am I running from?
Where am I going?
What am I running from?
Im lost and lonely.
An original poem by:
Amber Krystal
I
BURN
BRIGHTLY
TO GAURD
YOUR
WAY. SO
YOU CAN
FIND YOUR
WAY IN
THE DARK. TO BRIGHTEN
YOUR LIFE AND YOUR
WORLD. AND EVERYONE
AROUND YOU
AN ORIGINAL POEM BY :
AMBER KRYSTAL HALL
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MOST RECENT POEM/SONG
Poker Game
*Faded* Life is what you make of it.
Life is how you play the game *gets louder and end fade*
*Chorus*
Life is a poker game.
Sometimes youre dealt a good hand,
Sometimes youre not.
Sometimes you know how to bluff,
Sometimes you dont.
Sometimes life tries to trick you and deals you an Ace, King, Queen, Jack of hearts and a deuce of spades, just a shame deuces arent wild this time!
Even when youve got a crummy hand, bluff your way through.
Life is to short not to.
Take time everyday just to notice the small things.
Notice the many shades of green the grass is.
Notice the birds voice as they soar through the royal blue sky *end high*
Looks for shapes in the clouds
Let the breeze whip through your hair.
Take notice of everything cause just like a hand of poker, life is short.
*Chorus*
When you find the one you love make sure to tell him.
Never live with regrets, do something about them instead.
Be kind and thoughtful and you will be rewarded, even if only by the feeling in your heart.
Do everything you wanna do, cause life is to short not to live it the best you can
*Chorus*
*music*
*Chorus*
*Faded* Life is what you make of it.
Life is how you play the game
Life is a poker game & deuces are not wild!!! *gets louder and end fade*
An original by:
~Amber Krystal Hall~
Two years
4-25-02
Two years ago today, you ruined my life.
You made it hard for me to trust any one.
In an instant my world came crumbling down.
You were my first true love,
And I shall never forget what you did to me.
Two years ago today my life turned upside down.
Time has gone so slow with out you by my side.
You are always in my dreams.
I constantly wish for the day youll be back in my arms.
I wish for the day I can look at your lovely face,
And not be angry and heart broken.
Two years ago today you made me cry.
Granted things were never perfect,
I still thought we would be together for a much longer time
Than two days short of six months.
Two years ago today you ripped my heart out,
And my wall of emotions came crashing down.
I began crying this day two years ago inside and out.
I have never been the same since that day,
I wish I had seen it coming.
I wish I knew so I could stop it.
I wish I knew.
Two years ago today you messed up my heart and mind,
I have been unable to trust when anyone says they care,
For fear they will leave me as you did.
Two years ago you took away a part of my heart and soul.
You changed my life in many bad ways,
and I suppose in some good ways, I have yet to find the good.
I still wish everyday for you to be back with me,
But soon you wont have to worry about me anymore,
For I will be gone soon.
Two years ago today you changed my life forever.
That day in October of 99 you made my wish on the stars come true,
But little did I know that my wish would last such a short time.
Two years ago today you changed my life forever.
I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I will never be with you again.
I will never feel the joy I once did.
Soon I will be gone from this place and I wont have to see you anymore.
You will never have to deal with me again.
Two years ago today you changed my life forever,
And I will never forget you or what you did.
Two Years Ago Today.........
Good Bye.
An original by:
~Amber Krystal Hall~
TIRED
4-24-02
Everyday I grow to hate the world more and more.
Everyday I become more depressed.
The hole in my heart gets bigger and bigger.
You try everyday to help, but you dont see that just makes it worse.
The more you try to help the more I get angry, and the darker I get.
Im tired of fighting.
Im tired of running.
Im tired of crying everyday.
I need to figure this out on my own,
so please leave me alone.
You can not help and yes I do know this for a fact.
I may not know you completely, but I know your kind,
and I know you can not help no one can.
Ive been getting help for 11 years now and it never helps.
Why wont you just let me be?
I know you say you care, but I still dont know why.
You say youll visit when Im gone.
Well Ive heard that before.
Its all just empty promises.
Im tired of fighting.
Im tired of running.
Im tired of crying everyday.
I need to figure this out on my own,
so please leave me alone.
When the time comes for you to fill you promise,
you will not be able to find me nor will you care.
You will forget about me just like everyone else.
Dont try to say you are different because I know what will happen,
its happened many too many times.
I know what will happen and thats why Im pushing everyone away.
You all need to just let me be,
because in a month or two no one will remember, or care.
Im tired of fighting.
Im tired of running.
Im tired of crying everyday.
I need to figure this out on my own,
so please leave me alone.
I need time to myself;
I need to be left alone to figure things out.
I cant think with you breathing down my neck.
I need this move more than any one can understand,
I need to get away from the great pain people have created inside of me.
The pain is near unbearable.
Im tired of fighting.
Im tired of running.
Im tired of crying everyday.
I need to figure this out on my own,
so please leave me alone.
If I dont go,
if I dont get some time to myself,
if I dont get to think,
well Im afraid of what might happen.
Someday I might listen to the voice and jump.
Someday I might listen to the voice and cut deeper into my skin.
Someday I might listen to the voice and chug it down.
Someday I might listen to the voice and pull the trigger.
No one would know I was gone till the smell of rotting flesh was too great to handle.
Im tired of fighting.
Im tired of running.
Im tired of crying everyday.
I need to figure this out on my own,
so please leave me alone.
Please understand that me pushing you away,
or asking you to leave me be is nothing personal
I just need to figure things out
and I know how things will end up in the end.
One thing you need to know is that I am greatly afraid.
Afraid of myself and others.
Afraid of my feelings and others.
Im tired of fighting.
Im tired of running.
Im tired of crying everyday.
I need to figure this out on my own,
so please leave me alone.
Why wont anyone see all I need is for the pain to go away?
Why wont anyone realize I dont want their help?
Why wont they just leave me alone?
Why do people insist on making the problem worse?
Why do people try to figure out what my problem is?
Well fine you want to know, here it is.
My problem is I dont know whats wrong, so go ahead try to figure it out.
Go ahead try to help.
See you cant.
Now leave me alone.
Im tired of fighting.
Im tired of running.
Im tired of crying everyday.
I need to figure this out on my own,
so please leave me alone.
An original by:
~Amber Krystal Hall~
Farewell my knight in shining armor
My knight in shining armor
Used to save me from any harm that came my way
But now his armor is dull
And now all he does is cower in his castle
While the dragon lurks outside
Now it is time for me to say farewell
Farewell to all
Farewell my friend
Farewell my love
Farewell my dear
Farewell
Farewell
Farewell my friend
Farewell my love
Farewell my dear
Farewell
My knight in shining armor has gone away
There is no one left to save me
The dragon has come for me
Now is the time to say farewell
To the first and last one Ill ever care for
There is nothing left and the dragon is getting closer
By tomorrow Ill be gone
Ill be alive no more
Now it is time for me to say farewell
Farewell to all
Farewell my friend
Farewell my love
Farewell my dear
Farewell
Farewell
Farewell my friend
Farewell my love
Farewell my dear
Farewell
I shall miss you all
But most of all my one true love
So now is the time for me to go
I will not say goodbye but only farewell
Farewell to all
Farewell my friend
Farewell my love
Farewell my dear
Farewell
Farewell
Farewell my friend
Farewell my love
Farewell my dear
Farewell
Farewell
Farewell
Farewell
An original by:
Amber Krystal Hall
Lack Of
I feel all alone;
I used to say I didnt know why.
I cry all the time for no real apparent reason.
But I have held a secret; I know why Im so sad all the time.
Its not the loneliness, all together;
Its not the emptiness, all together.
It was the lack of everything in-between.
It was the lack of everything I needed
It was the lack of a stable home,
The lack of a stable school,
Lack of real friends,
Lack of any friends at all.
It was the lack of everything I needed
But there was one thing that kept me going
The only thing that kept me going
And that was and still is God.
Hes the only reason Im still here
Hes the only reason I still am alive.
I thank him everyday of my life that he has saved me.
Its not the loneliness, all together;
Its not the emptiness, all together.
It was the lack of everything in-between
It was the lack of everything I needed
Its not the loneliness, all together,
Its not the emptiness, all together.
It was the lack of everything in-between
It was the lack of everything I needed
I may not be better now,
I may not be happy,
I still may wonder why Im alive,
But I have made it this far thanks to God
And Im grateful for his help.
Soon Ill be moving on to a new life,
One where I can in a sense start over.
Ill go to a place where no one knows me yet.
Its not the loneliness, all together;
Its not the emptiness, all together.
It was the lack of everything in-between
It was the lack of everything I needed
It was the lack of everything in-between
Everything in-between
In-between
In-between
Thank you God for helping me through it all.
Thank you.
An original poem by:
Amber Krystal Hall
NEITHER DO I
No one understands me, but neither do I.
My emotions are like a river, upstream, downstream, all around and back again, not really sure where I am going.
No one understands me, but neither do I.
But someday I will find my someplace.
My someplace where I cant hurt anyone anymore.
My someplace where no one can hurt me.
My someplace where I can be happy again.
I vow to myself that someday I will find my someplace, but until then...
No one understands me, and neither do I.
Someday I will find my someplace and my river of emotions will be straight again, and all in one direction I will know where Im going and people will understand me, but until then...
No one understands me, but neither do I
Someday I will be happy
Someday my emotions will be straight
Someday I wont be confused
Someday I will find my someplace
But until then...
No one understands me, but neither do I.
Someday I will find my someplace.
Someday, Someday, Someday I will find my someplace, but until then...
No one understands me, and neither do I
Neither do I
Neither do I
Neither do I
an original song by:
Amber Krystal
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ONE DAY
How can you say you love me? You rarely call, you dont visit, you talk bad about my dad, and wont even talk to him. You broke a great friendship that you used to have, now all there is, is anger and abandonment, for which I have felt for far too long. I hope that one day you will realize that your children are more important than taking care of a church or taking extra classes you dont need. We should be the most important thing in your life! One day I will be able to tell you all my anger One Day.
An original by:
~Amber Krystal Hall~
LATELY
I feel so alone
Everyone ignores me
There is only one
That understands, but
Lately he hasnt been
Around hes too occupied
By other girls, when he
Speaks to me I get the
Chills, I want to confront
Him, but when I see his
Face I cant stay mad
And I just want to be held
By him. He is all I tend to
Think about. He wont stay out
Of my mind. He loves to
Tease me, he knows I care
About him, He knows that
I love him, but lately he
hasnt been around
and I feel so alone
everyone is gone
what have I done?
Where is everyone?
An original by:
~Amber Krystal Hall~
THE POINT
I don't see the point
Im already in pain
Why not add more?
It wont make it better.
It wont make it worse.
Will it?
Does it matter
If I stay or if I go?
I dont see the point
In staying in this horrid place
I dont see the point.
An original by:
~Amber Krystal Hall~
I LOVE YOU
To the one I love,
My one and only,
I love your laugh and the way you smile.
I love your eyes that sparkle ever so brightly with life.
I love the way you push your hair aside.
I love your personality.
I love how you are so sweet.
I love everything about you, most of all,
I LOVE YOU
LOVE,
AMBER KRYSTAL
LET ME BE
Im flying away to a place deep inside me,
a place where I can bask in the warmth of the sun,
stare at the stars,
and smell the sweet sweet sweeeeeet smell of the rare flowers,
so forgive me if I dont answer your call,
if I dont respond to your shakes,
Im flying away from this world,
please leave me be dont wake me I want to stay here
I fly away on my magic carpet and lay in the sun,
stare at the stars,
and smell the sweet sweet sweeeeeeeet flowers all around me.
Here I am safe,
Here I dont feel all the pain.
Please dont worry about me,
Im just fine, Im safe and sound with no worries,
so forgive me when I dont answer when you call my name,
if I dont wake when you shake my shoulders,
for I am not here any more,
I am far away in my own world safe and sound,
I am basking in the warmth of the sun,
talking to the stars as they wink back at me,
and smelling the sweet sweet sweeeeeeeeeet flowers,
I am so happy here,
please dont wake me I dont want to go home,
I want to stay right where I am.
Leave me be,
leave me be,
leave me be
Let me lay in the sun,
let me stare at the stars,
and smell the flowers,
please dont make me wake up,
I dont want to go home I want to be safe,
I want to be worry free I want to stay right where I am,
leave me be,
leave me be,
leave me be
An original poem by:
Amber Krystal Hall THE JOURNEY
The moon tucked nice and neat in the folds in the clouds,
It's place to rest, from a long nights journey seeing all it could see,
So it goes back to it's place to rest,
Tucked neatly in the folds in the clouds,
To rest for tomorrows journey
AN ORIGINAL POEM BY:
AMBER KRYSTAL HALL
WHY???
Why is it when you fall others laugh and are happy?
Why is it when you succeed they shun you with disrespect?
Why is it others are always out to get you, make you trip, fall,
or anything to stop you from succeeding?
Why are people so jealous and uncaring?
Why do people hate so much?
Why do they hate me so much?
Why is I feel I have to scare people?
Why cant I be myself?
Why wont they let me be happy?
Why do they want me to cry?
Why do they chose to hate me with their jealousy?
Why am I always the victim?
Why must I live my life like this;
my mind and heart forever running from the pain?
Why do people hate me unless I act cool
Why do I feel like such an imposter in this awful place we call earth?
Why???
An original by:
~Amber Krystal Hall~
LATELY
I feel so alone
Everyone ignores me
There is only one
That understands, but
Lately he hasnt been
Around hes too occupied
By other girls, when he
Speaks to me I get the
Chills, I want to confront
Him, but when I see his
Face I cant stay mad
And I just want to be held
By him. He is all I tend to
Think about. He wont stay out
Of my mind. He loves to
Tease me, he knows I care
About him, He knows that
I love him, but lately he
hasnt been around
and I feel so alone
everyone is gone
what have I done?
Where is everyone?
An original by:
~Amber Krystal Hall~
I feel so alone everyone ignores me there is only one that understands but lately he hasnt been around hes too occupied by other girls, when he speaks to me I get the chills I want to confront him but when I see his face I cant stay mad and I just want to be held by him he is all I tend to think about, he wont stay out of my mind he loves to tease me he knows I care about him, he knows that I love him, but lately he hasnt been around and I feel so alone, everyone is gone what have I done where is everyone?
An original by:
Amber Krystal Hall
Everyday of my life Ive been rejected why did I think today would be different. Every other day I find someone that perks my interest and when I get the courage to talk to them they reject me like a piece of trash. I become close friends, I get to know them, really like them, then I tell them how I feel, and they throw it in my face. They confuse me beyond the edge of sanity. Im pulling out my hair here. They flirt, they kiss, they sweet-talk me with their sweet lips, and then when I take them up on it, they act as if nothing ever happened. Im a failure, Im not good enough, not pretty enough, not slim enough for anyone... at least this is the way they make me feel. I constantly say Im gonna give up, but then I find someone that makes me want to take another chance, only to bring me down again. Why do men do this, why do they do it to me? Everyday is like torture, I dont know what is really real, I dont know whether or not to wake up, I dont know if I am awake.
An original by:
Amber Krystal Hall
Unicorns are so surreal
Some say they are unreal
With a horn upon their head
People tend not to believe instead
But truth behold
Let the story unfold
You must believe
To retrieve
The magical powers of these creatures
See their features
Eyes of green
To be seen
Their coats so soft
As they sleep up in the loft
They walk around
Without much sound
They sleep so silently
And fill life with serenity
Many say they dont exist
But I must insist
For they ease the pain
And help to keep sane
If you want your soul
You must believe it all in whole
Steady as a horse
They always stay on course
Clang, clang, clang, go their feet
On the ground a sound so sweet
Have no fear
For if they are near
There can be no harm
And there is no need for alarm
Please keep an open mind
And you will find
They are not unreal
Unicorns are surreal.
An original poem by:
Amber Krystal Hall
Dear Mom
Though I was not carried in your womb,
Without a doubt you are the best,
You help put my mind to rest,
You wipe away my tears,
When Im lonely and sad,
Even when I get mad,
You are always there for me,
I hope you can see,
I LOVE YOU
Dear Dad
Though times have been rough,
You helped make me tough,
The whole way along,
You have made me strong,
The path ahead is long and treacherous,
But we will endure it together,
Because I will love you forever,
No matter what you or I do,
I LOVE YOU
Dear sis,
Though sometimes we are amiss,
Our attitudes are not in tune,
And you may think I am a loon,
Do not be fooled by the outward shell,
Its just a spell,
Trying to keep us apart,
Someday we will be as accurate as a dart,
Hitting the bulls eye, but I know one thing for sure,
I LOVE YOU
BESTEST BEST FRIEND
You are always there for me,
As I am for you.
Though I have known you for just short a year,
I feel as though I've known you forever.
I know all your secrets, as you do mine.
This is because you are my bestest best friend.
No matter how many fights we get into I know that we will be together forever,
Because of all my friends and best friends,
You are my BESTEST BEST FRIEND
You mean the world to me and if you were to go I dont know where I would end up,
But I know that you would never hurt me, because you are my
BESTEST BEST FRIEND
And we will be
Together forever, forever together
Just the way BESTEST BEST FRIENDS should be
Love always,
Amber Krystal Hall
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